


(would you be my) american boy

by eatsung



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Canon Universe, Chenji if you squint, Crushes, Dorks in Love, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Mark Lee (NCT) is Whipped, Pining, Underage Drinking, kind of, that tag is my brand
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-04
Updated: 2020-01-12
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:00:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22115266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eatsung/pseuds/eatsung
Summary: mark lee has never been good at hiding what he's thinking.
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Mark Lee, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 11
Kudos: 78





	1. renjun

**Author's Note:**

> i started writing this some time last year and only now continued it!! make the markren tag great again >:(
> 
> fic title from american boy by estelle & kanye <3<3 hope u like it!

"if you don't kiss him on the lips by the end of this week, at least tell him you're not interested." donghyuck's eyes are closed and he's lying on the carpet when renjun enters his room.

"why are you in here?" he asks, stepping over his friend and dropping down on his bed, the soft fabric wrinkling under the pressure of his butt. he knows his weak attempt at distracting from what he knows is about to be discussed – a topic he's been dealing with for the whole month of november – won't be effective, but he can still try.

donghyuck sighs and sits up, legs criss-crossed and face stern as he gives renjun a condescending look. "my best friend is so in love with you and it's giving me back pains. actual pain, injun. he thinks he's so _slick_ , when he's really not. i might die from second hand embarassment."

it's – true. renjun buries his face in his hands.

mark lee, bless his soul, has the biggest, most obvious crush on him and it's... actually kinda cute, but now it's been over a month and the older still hasn't made a move and- well. everyone is kinda over it, at this point.

it all started with The Realization. you see, mark lee has never been good at hiding what he's thinking, face scrunching up when he eats something johnny cooked, that everyone wordlessly agreed on would be _good_ because johnny is very shy about his kitchen skills and they _love him very much_ – it isn't like anyone can blame mark. johnny isn't a good cook and mark isn't a good liar.

so, one day, while renjun, jeno, jaemin and mark hung out in the dorms, the noises chenle and jisung made while playing overwatch in one of their rooms accompanying them, as well as the soft string of jeno's guitar and his and jaemin's acoustic rendition of estelle's _american boy_ , renjun felt the need to jump up and dance – there hadn't been any ulterior motives behind it, just the sudden urge to move. so he did.

and while jaemin did his absolute best at singing the second verse, kind of struggling with the lyrics even though his english pronunciation wasn't that bad, renjun closed his eyes and made his way from the couch to in front of the tv, where the most space was, swaying his arms around him and wiggling his whole body – he didn't care if it didn't look as pretty as the choreographies they learned for stage, or his old ballet routines, it still felt good to just let loose for a moment.

through jaemin's singing, he heard jeno cheering for him (and promptly messing up some of the notes, but it was fine), the chinese mouths some of the lyrics he knows, copying some dance moves he'd picked up from his hyungs' dances, first something xuxi had shown him some time ago, then some of donghyuck's signature ones, smooth and wannabe-sexy. renjun never had been the one to feel extremely hot or anything, but it was still fun to exaggerate some movements now and then.

he hadn't worn makeup and neither was is hair styled, but when mark's eyes met his and a small _wah_ escaped the canadian's lips, renjun felt his stomach drop. the older was looking at him like he was the most beautiful thing it the world and renjun quickly grew flustered, dropping back on the couch, pulling up his hoodie to hide the embarrassed flush that was creeping up his neck‐

"yah, are you even listening to me?!" donghyuck's voice cuts through renjun's throughts and the brunette jumps, feeling himself grow annoyed by the second. "what do you want me to do? i can't just go to him and. like. kiss him or something." the _or can i?_ stays left unsaid, but donghyuck wiggles his eyebrows raunchily. renjun scowls.

"i'm pretty sure he'd be the last one to complain, don't you think?" renjun doesn't know what to say to that. sure, he – and he guesses everyone else on this godforsaken planet – is well aware of the canadian's infatuation with him, has been for longer that he'd thought it would last, but that does not mean that it doesn't scare him anymore.

—

jisung and chenle have a habit of getting hungry at two am so renjun isn't surprised when he catches the two of them making pasta when he gets up to get a glass of water.

the two of them stare at him like deers caught in head lights, before realizing it's them, chenle turning back to stirr the noodles immediately while jisung gives him a tired smile. renjun smiles back. it's obvious that most of the trouble the two youngest get into stems from chenle's urge to fuck around and jisung's inability to say no to him.

"hi nighthawks," he greets them, ruffling jisung's hair as he passes him. he's sitting on the kitchen stool, head resting on his hand. the brunette's eyes close the moment renjun's hand touches his head and renjun considers just sending him to sleep in his bed, rather than in the living room where he'd been camping ever since he'd gotten the top bunk in his shared room with jaemin.

chenle copies the screech of a hawk, jisung wincing a little, before a soft smile spreading on his features.

renjun shakes his head, walking over to the fridge to get out a bottle of water, halting however when he sees the picture of all of them – donghyuck, jeno, jaemin, chenle, jisung, mark and himself. jeno and the three youngest are piled on top of one another, jisung's smile sheepish and chenle's mischievous. donghyuck's grin is beaming and renjun thinks it shows well how innocent the younger can look.

his eyes stop at mark, seemingly not bothered about jaemin sitting on his leg, even though all of them always complain about jaemin's pointy ass. he looks right into the camera, blue contacts making his face look different than his normal, un-idoled appearance. but even like this, even dolled-up and in expensive clothes, mark looks like the sweet boy next door he really is.

renjun chews on his bottom lip.

"don't sleep too late," he tells mostly to jisung, his water forgotten. the younger hums tiredly, chenle only giving him a look, an uncooked spaghetti poking out of his mouth.

he looks down at his text, frowning at the small _hi canada, you up?_ popped up in his and mark's imessage chat. they've only ever texted twice, renjun very openly hating to type in korean and the both of them not really knowing what to say to each other.

proof of that were their last conversation, where mark had texted him first, asking what he was up to. back then, renjun had found it weird and unexpected – now it makes a little more sense and he feels bad for his curt responses back then.

the phone slides out of his hands once the writing bubbles appear, the _delivered_ having turned into _read_.

it doesn't take mark ten seconds to send a reply and then another:

_can't sleep either huh?_

_hahaha_

renjun cringes. mark's a weirdo. it's kind of really endearing.

_yup_ , he types, dumb halting above the send button. too curt. he needs to really give this a shot.

_yeah :( the kids are making pasta and i've been listening to music to try and fall asleep but nothing's working._

the text gets read immediately, due to mark still being online. renjun locks his phone to take a breath. he's strangely nervous about this. his phone vibrates against his chest only a couple seconds later and he makes it a point in taking his time entering his code.

_i know that feeling ahahaha. indie music helps me a lot, maybe i could recommend you something?_

another text pops up. _only if you want to ofc_

abbreviations. renjun truly hates korean texting, but mark isn't as bad as jaemin with the whole aegyo thing. he's made it a habit of ignoring jaemin's attempts at a text conversation, which resoluted in the younger calling him nine times a day.

_hit me_

too short, he thinks and quickly sends a _:))_.

_café amarillo by local natives, my favorite fish by gus dapperton, these days by wallows, tropicana by vanilla gorilla, i wanna be your girlfriend by girl in red & marcel by her's r really good songs_

renjun feels himself melt and he can't help the gushy smile splitting his face in two.

_i'll listen to them and tell you how i like them tomorrow. goodnight mark._

he closes imessage and opens up spotify, quickly creating a new playlist titled _marks sleepy time songs_. he doesn't react to the notification he gets of mark wishing him a good night back.


	2. mark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> he breathes out. "you know how i feel about you, right?"

humming along to his alarm, loona's _heart attack_ , mark rolls out of bed with a huge grin.

it's saturday and for a change, mark's schedule for the day only includes a haircut – after that, he's free to do as he pleases for the rest of the day.

with a giddy smile, he thought back to the previous night, when he'd told renjun about his appointment, the younger almost immediately asking if he could join.

mark didn't have to be asked twice.

after breakfast, taeil and donghyuck sharing a few confused glances at the pace he managed to inhale his kiwi, he showers thoroughly, singing his heart out under the steaming hot water. he even uses a face mask, even though he doesn't have enough patience to keep it on the entire five minutes, quickly tossing the sheet into the trash and gently (as gentle as his overzealous self could muster in that exact moment) patting beneath his eyes to possibly obliterate his under-eye bags.

after jotting down some coral shimmer in the inner corner of his eye, he grins at his reflection, hastily wiping at some toothpaste having dried on his lower lip.

perfect.

the first thing that throws him off his renjun's outfit – he's wearing donghyuck's black balenciaga hoodie, a dark grey beanie and light-wash jeans with the tiniest bit of flare over his worn out boots. 

mark is _overdressed_. he wants to die on the spot. 

renjun (who is not even wearing any makeup, mark notes in embarrassment) only smiles when they greet each other, not acknowledging how the older's dressed in a navy button up and tight-fitted jeans.

there's one airpod sticking in his right ear and he looks out of the car's window for a moment. all in all, he looks so effortlessly cool that mark feels like he could gag at any moment and projectile vomit all over the chinese like that one girl in _pitch perfect_ one. 

(on side note: donghyuck and renjun had been obsessed with that movie for about half a year, forcing all of them to watch it more than mark deemed healthy. it was worth hearing renjun's interpretation of _since you been gone_ by kelly clarkson every time, though.)

"kinda sad you're getting it cut."

mark jumps at the chinese' words, still lost in his previous thoughts. renjun's look is trained on mark's fringe, the blonde having washed out quite a bit now.

_i would grow my hair until it reaches the floor for you_ is what mark doesn't say because he's not insane – at least not totally. 

instead, he scrunches his nose, shrugging a little. 

the drive is less eventful than mark had imagined, but 90% of his daydreams that included renjun ended in them either ditching nct, to buy a small cottage somewhere in the sticks and own eight cats and grow their own cabbage – or, well, making out. 

(side note: mark isn't sure which one of these scenarios he would prefer.)

"we're there," renjun hums and giggles when mark jumps. 

maybe he has a playlist for how renjun makes him feel. 

not in a creepy way, of course, but in a way that renjun's laugh is similar to running along a field in midsummer, _daft pretty boys_ by bad suns playing in the background. when they watch a movie together, the younger playing with the hem of mark's shirt or the lose strings on the holes of his jeans it's like _flaming hot cheetos_ by clairo and when renjun texts him in the middle of the night because he's bored and can't sleep and they end up talking the entire night, it's like _holy_ by king princess.

at the hairdresser's, mark spends the entire time staring at renjun's reflection in the mirror. he's reading the poetry book doyoung got him for christmas, the one's mark has seen him flip through a lot these days. 

sometimes he looks up and catches the canadian stare at him. _dræm girl by no vacation_ , mark's brain supplies. 

"you hate it." it's not a question but a statement and renjun chews on his bottom lip as he looks up at mark's new hair, a lot shorter and styled up, dyed back to black.

"i do not hate it," renjun says. "it looks nice."

"'nice' is just 'ugly' in disguise." mark wishes he could rip is hair out one by one but he figures that would look even worse. renjun tries to fight his bubbling up laughter, failing miserably. ( _sunflower_ by rex orange county.) 

the chinese shakes his head in confusion, eyes disappearing into crescent as he chuckles out, "who told you that? donghyuckie?"

_johnny, actually_ , mark doesn't say, too mesmerized by how cute the younger is. 

"i really like it. dark hair suits you well." 

mark looks down, blushing. renjun snorts. "what?" the older asks, cringing at the way his voice breaks. renjun doesn't mention it, but, judging by the way his grin widens, he's gonna tease him for it later.

"nothing."

( _candide crush_ by therapie taxi.)

—

if there's one thing lee donghyuck is good at, it's rolling his eyes.

mark knows that after years of being the cause of said eyerolls, not unlike today, the youngest of the 127 bunch currently groaning like he's in pain, even making johnny perk up from his conversation with jaehyun. 

"have you considered finally being clear with what you want? renjun isn't cruel, mark, but i get the feeling he might be leading you on a little bit."

the words rub mark in the wrong way because _there's no way renjun could know_. 

"did you tell him?" he sits up straight from where he'd been leaning against jungwoo, who is currently busy staring into his phone, close to dozing off. they're all exhausted from practicing almost all day. 

donghyuck closes his eyes for a moment, breathing out as if to calm himself down. when he opens them again, he looks pained. "we spoke about it, but believe me when i say i didn't _have_ to. you look at him like he's hung the moon and if you know him you're aware of how attentive he is."

he gets quieter towards the end and mark gets a sour taste in his mouth, heartbeat increasing rapidly. _oh my god_ , he thinks, so he says it.

"yup," donghyuck sighs, firmly squeezing his shoulder before turning to talk to johnny, who enthusiastically ditches jaehyun to engage with the younger. 

mark frowns.

—

_i hate that you're in america_ , renjun texts one night and mark immediately feels a sensation of homesickness rush through his body, despite his home in canada being closer than ever.

127 is busy giving concert and attending events, meaning the other members are left at home, preparing for their own shows. 

_i'll be back_ , he writes, closing his phone again.

it's not that he's mad at renjun – the younger doesn't owe him anything, isn't obligated to like him back or to even mention it when mark is definitely the one who should bring it up. 

he's not mad but he's feeling reckless, so he quickly types in his code again.

_since when do you mind me leaving anyways?_

it's childish, he's aware, but that really doesn't mean he cares right now. he's worn out from being up since four a.m. and – despite being from canada – the u.s. has always some type of culture shock to him. the electricity of the fans, the bright colors and attitude makes it feel like another world; a world too far from what he's used to after going to korea as a kid.

his phone vibrates. _what are you talking about_ , the new message reads, _of course i mind_.

of course he minds. mark scoffs.

_don't lie_

his heart skips a beat when, instead of a new message, he receives a call, renjun's icon big and awing on his phone screen.

" _what the hell, mark lee? did you drink? you're underage in america, idiot_."

mark missed his voice, he realizes. he misses everything about renjun, his face, his teasing, his mole – but most of all his voice.

" _respond or i will message doyoung-hyung to scold you._ " he sounds agitated but like he's trying to stay collected. is he worried? mark hadn't even touched alcohol.

he breathes out. "you know how i feel about you, right?"

silence, for a moment. then a trembling breath on the other end. mark closes his eyes, feels them burning. it had been too good to be true anyways. too long had he acted like renjun could reciprocate his feelings, even though he knew the truth.

" _you aren't exactly discreet, are you? of course i know_." 

mark doesn't dare breathe. 

" _why are you asking now, hyung? this is so sudden_."

except it isn't. over two months have passed since their first message and mark is tired of feeling dumb. what donghyuck said really opened his eyes.

"i don't want to be friends, renjun. we're not great as friends." he swallows. "when i get back, will you go on a date with me?"

the line gets cut and mark's heart shatters into a billion pieces. 

only after ten minutes of staring onto his home screen, a screen shot of a horizontal vlive jisung snd renjun did, a new message pops up.

_panicked, sorry. my answer is yes, please come back soon_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> does this count as a song rec

**Author's Note:**

> next: mark


End file.
